Hindi ako mapakali buong araw. This debut thing would definitely change my life and just thinking of it makes me anxious. I can’t stand still or feel comftable staying on one side. I feel like huling araw ko na sa mundo, well, last day of being a girl that is.
Halos lahat bumabati na ng “advance happy b-day” that burned my ears, and I’m trying so hard not to show it. For the past days, I’ve been a pessimist at nahihiya na akong manalamin, takot na baka hindi ko na makilala ang sarili ko.
At the end of class hours, I’m still upset. As we, (me, Aira, and Kc) dropped off the market-market, I felt worse. To the fact na mag-isa lang akong pupunta sa fullybooked, nakakatakot isipin na masu-suspend ang classes the next day dahil sa malakas na ulan… T_T.. Too much for a happy b-day, huh?!
Niyakap ko na sila at nagpaalam. I made my way towards the exit of the mall, my mind floating and my sesnses numb… I never felt so down and helpless before…
Nakalimutan kong mahal pala ako ni God. And I’ve forgotten that whenever this situation comes, He’ll send an angel to cheer me up.
Suddenly, there were two male voices behind me as I passed the escalator on the ground floor. They were discussing something loud enough for me to hear…
boy 1: “ si, ano… jeremie ba ‘yun? ”
boy 2: “jeremie?…”
Parang pamilyar ‘yung boses ni boy 1, pero ‘di ako lumingon…malay ko ba, maraming Jeremie sa mundo.
boy 1: “jere..jeramie ata…”
Naalala ko ‘yung classmate ko nung 4th year high school. Si Jeramie Rellora… Cute girl, ‘san na kaya siya??? U.P? possibly.
boy 1:” hindi eh…meron pa..jere…jhemarie!!!”
“shit!!”, I told myself. “Ako ‘yun ah?! Bihira lang ganung name sa mundo…” at lumingon ako…believe me, all of this happened in less than 2 sec….from “shit” to lingon…
“Wah!!..sponge–“napabulalas ako. As usual, itinaas niya kamay niya.. *high five*
shit ulet..I felt numb..Ambilis ng mga pangyayari… Huminto sila sa Lighter’s Galore…” dito muna kami”, paalam niya, and I’m surprised dahil hindi pala huminto ang mga paa ko sa paglakad…
“hey! What are you doing?“, my mind shouted.. shit (again), ano nga bang ginagawa ko? I have to admit that I’ve been wanting to see him before my debut, at least. Ilang araw na rin siyang stuck sa utak ko, telling myself that my b-day would be very meaningful if ever I’d see him again.. Even just for a moment.
Hindi pa ako nakakalayo, I turn around…. Following my heart’s desire and my mind shouting, “this might be the last time you’d see him…”
so I hurriedly walked towards thier direction.
He seemed surprised. But still smiled my favorite smile. Umorder pala siya ng cigar, Marlboro, dark green… I’m not familiar with those things eh…
“adik ka pa rin sa smoke..”, sabi ko.
“isipin mo na lang, hindi ako si Jan..”,he said. Still smiling.
“hindi nga ikaw si Jan, ikaw si Spongebob”, I was surprised at myself.. What am I saying?.. But it felt so natural, parang dati ulit. siya ang spongebob ko at ako ang kanyang jolly cute classmate.
“bday ko bukas..”, i said having this little sister voice in me. Siya ngayon ang nagulat.
“Debut ko…”, smiling and enjoying his shocked expression. Then, he smiled again, making it hard for me to look away.
I waited patiently for a few seconds that seemed like minutes have passed. My eyes were so fast, looking to his companion which I realized that i never met before. Then to his body, lean and firm, halatang may abs underneath his blue shirt.
I wanted to ask him a lot of questions. Kailan bday niya, ano zodiac sign niya, contact number, friendster, facebook, address… so many questions that I don’t even know where to start.
I can’t take it anymore. Masyado akong na-shock, super unexpected. And i suddenly felt awkward.
“well, una na ‘ko…”, I said, now facing him.
He said something i can’t recall, parang “gue, ingat ka..” but I cut him off by spreading my arms open, ready for a hug.
“bday ko bukas”, my sort of explaining kung bakit gusto k0 ng yakap, kahit alam kong hindi niya ako tatanggihan. Just making sure I’ll feel my spongebob again.
He hugged me.
I thought the time stopped. As our bodies touched each other, past memories flashed through my mind. He and me walking at the open field. He was talking while I’m listening very intently, careful not to miss anything. Him, always pinching my cheeks that would make me pout and make him smile.
Still hugging me, he kissed my cheeks..
“happy bday…”, in his low, manly but sweet voice.
And I am me again. The me I was before, 4 years that is.
“or belated..I mean advance…”, sabi niya as our bodies move away from each other.
The, I can’t remember anything else. I just remember his hug, the warm kiss, my favorite smile, and the me inside myself. Floating again, but now in the clouds of great happiness.
Spongebob, I can’t believe it. The boy I felt most secured with, like he’ll defend me from unknown enemies. The boy whom I see the brother I’ve been finding for all my life. The boy who used to own a spongebob bag where I got his nickname.
I’m his Jhem again, he resurrected me.
And he’ll always be my spongebob.
Jan Irvil David–Spongebob,
Thank you.. you’re always in my heart…♥