Cost of Living

It is so expensive to be alive.

From the day you were born, expenses will continue even after you die.

It is much more expensive to be a girl.

Make up, clothes, shoes, personal hygiene. Over time people invent new ways to enhance a little part of the body in exchange to pain and a handful of money.

But all of these are for survival. To satisfy the human needs, both gender.

Of course, if I look like your grandma, chances of getting the best spots are nearly impossible. Job, partner, friends, transportation, and nearly anywhere else. If you are attractive, no matter how rude you are, you are always favored first. That’s a fact.

One of my needs do not differ from others, honestly. And I’ve done it a lot of times more than I could remember.

Sign up for a dating site, double tap, swipe right, send a message, a photo, whatever the hell is interesting. Get through the night and the hunger is satisfied. The cycle goes on.

I’m not stupid. I know how to take care of myself. Expenses do not stop at the beginning, its always an ongoing process. Check with the doctor, maintenance, watching the calendar. You know all those things.

One time, I forgot.

It was just one time that I forgot to prevent it. I only remember weeks after I met a strange man.

There was something off about him but I ignored it instantly. Men are all creeps anyway.

Weeks after I met him, I started feeling strange. I had cravings that I could not explain. I feel so thirsty and tired. I just want to lie down. I feel so weak.

My roommate started noticing, I know by her looks. She asked me if I want anything. Some days I would say Lasagna, some days I’ll say strawberry jello. There was even one night I woke her up crying to get me something to eat. I am very very hungry.

While she was away, I started rummaging the refrigerator. Give me anything, I am so darn hungry.

Lemon, orange juice, tomatoes. Then I saw it, oh God. The sweet smell of raw meat.

I snatched it immediately and started biting chunks without even chewing. I finished 4 packs with my bloody hands but its still not enough.

I laid down and fell asleep holding my pulsing stomach. I hope she gets home soon. I am very very hungry.

I woke up with bloody meat everywhere. It was a disgusting scene that I lost my appetite. What did she do, throw meat at me like I’m some kind of a pig?

I packed the meat carefully while cursing under my breath. If she hates me just say so. There’s no need to be a bitch.

For the first time in a long time, I felt great. I took a shower and went outside for a jog.

The sun felt wonderful, I haven’t got my dose of Vitamin D in a while. I stated running and turning on the corner to be greeted by Mrs. Andrews who seem to be always outside watching people.

“Good morning, Mrs. Andrews!”, I shouted.

“Oh! Darling! Haven’t seen you around. Are you okay?”, she smiled sweetly. Her pooch, Noodle, started barking at me.

That’s odd. Noodle likes me.

“Not feeling well, Mrs. Andrews! But I’m okay now..”, I answered back. The little brown dog started bawling and clawing the air. Gosh, chill down dog. “I’ll go ahead”. Freaky animal.

I jogged down 2 streets to the convenience store hoping to grab  fresh cup of brewed coffee.

I opened the door and the bell rings. I stepped my right foot inside and stopped. Shit.

The cashier noticed me staring at the floor. “Are you okay? You look pale”.

I swallowed my own saliva and closed my eyes. I realized something. God, I hope I’m not right.

I turned around and run.

I came back to my apartment and immediately pack my things. All necessary items. ID, cash, and the meat to take. I will not come back.

I drove a long time with my shaking hands. It took a moment to sink in all the details. My roommate came back. Before I left for jog, I saw the grocery bags untouched.

I stopped at the next gas station and cried. What the hell happened to me. What have I done?

I heard my stomach growling after some time. I took the meat packs in the backseat and started to eat them until I realized they were one. I’m still so hungry.

One family came out of the Starbucks, a father, a mother and a cute little girl. They got inside their car and drove to the exit.

I started the engine and tailed them. Just enough distance to not be suspicious.

The cost of living is damn expensive. But the parents will soon thank me once the delicious girl goes missing.

I placed my hand over my stomach. Just a little longer baby. Mommy is hungry, too.

One of my needs do not differ


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