He was the last passenger and the vehicle took off. I was happy that we should now be going, I never liked waiting. On anything. Or anyone.
My mind was going through a lot of unnecessary things as it usually does when his perfume hit me. I looked at him, something about the scent made my heartbeat fast, made my mind anxious, made my body feel.. heavy.
I never saw him before, not even a small feeling of knowing. His small eyes behind the dark framed glasses does not look familiar. Those thin lips never tasted mine before, nor ever engaged in a smart conversation.
I do not know what to do. I feel panicky, I feel like crying.
I blink my tears away. Closed my eyes to prevent further embarrassment in this public transportation. Life made me look like a fool a lot of times, not this time again.
Then, it all came back.
The smell of pine trees, the feel of cold water running down my naked body on an early morning because the heater does not work. My feet walking downhill, slowly running until the tress around me becomes a blur. I wanted to run fast, away but at the same time back to you. I wanted to run faster as if the speed will make this moment stand still, make this mine, make this forever.
“Wait for me..”, you shouted. I remember stopping abruptly, turning around and seeing your face coming closer. How much I wanted to crash my body into yours and cry, to whisper “Why do we do this?”. Instead, I reached out for your hand and smiled.
We strolled around this wonderful escape, knowing tomorrow it will just be a memory.
Everything in my life ends abruptly, like the author thought of a brilliant idea to screw my life up and move on to the next chapter without any explanation.
I opened my eyes as the driver yelled for my stop. I looked at this young stranger beside me, never knowing how wonderful and painful he made my night. Just because of the perfume he was wearing.
I whispered, “Thank you” before I stepped off and face the cold city. You are now just a distant memory, there are street lights instead of pine trees. And no matter how much I try to run, I cannot outrun yesterday.