Day 2: Right Words at the Right Time

While waiting for a jeepney ride, I asked you to tell me anything interesting, that I was bored.

And you always knew the right things to say to make me laugh. You smiled and said, “Grabe ang laki ng boobs ni Tsunade (from Naruto) noh?”, and touched your chest to have a good measure. Hahaha.

You never fail to make everyone around you happy. Goodnight, Floyde.



Day 1: A New Phobia

I can’t remember when and how I developed my fear of dead people. For a solid horror junkie, I can’t stand to be in one room with a corpse. And you know that.

Hope was the only thing I was holding on to when I received the message. Maybe they were mistaken. Maybe its a cruel joke.

I passed by the spot we last met. Your head on my shoulder, telling me how much you missed me. I laughed and told you I’ll always be here just like the old days.

I can’t help but cry. A little girl saw me and looked concerned. I bowed my head down, maybe they were mistaken.

“Are you ready?”, your cousin asked. It was at this point that I realized I’m no longer afraid of corpses.

As I made my way slowly to the white coffin, I developed a new fear. I’m horribly afraid to look beyond the glass and see your face. Maybe they were mistaken. Or maybe this is a dumb joke.

The first thing I saw was your striped polo, I can’t walk further. Thats your favorite shirt.

Then I saw your thin lips, your long eyelashes, your wide forehead. Hope left me.

I broke down. My tears overflowed. I looked down and look at you again hoping my eyes are tricking me. I closed my eyes hard, pinched myself. Maybe this is a nightmare.

But the hurt inside my heart is real. As real as your body inside that box, looking peaceful.

You told me you’re gonna be busy. I told you its okay, I’ll be here. You can text me or call me when you’re available.

You told me you’ll be busy, you didn’t tell me you’d leave me behind.

Sleeping Pills

Its been over a year since I started to hate sleep. It was an enemy. Well, because I was in love. Reality was better than the thousand dreams I had of us together.

I hated sleep so much that I had trouble sleeping. I know, I know. Once you’re in love, you cannot sleep well. At worse, you cannot sleep at all.

But the extremity of the situation is not good for me anymore that I decided to take sleeping pills. Not the prescribed one, only the herbal. Those things you can buy over the counter made of certain leaves to help your nerves calm down and eventually, help you fall asleep.

I only take one pill upon going to bed and only on weekdays when I need to wake up early. It’s good though. No matter how short I sleep, I always wake up feeling good. Like I had enough sleep.

SPBut just last week, my heart was broken. It was the lowest point of my life compared to any other heartbreak.

The sleep that was once my enemy, is now my best friend. I wanted to sleep so long just to forget. Sleep so long so I won’t be able to remember the pain. I won’t be able to feel.

Funny how sleeping pills work. Now they are at my bedside every day, not only on weekdays.

And not only one friendly pill a night, he could take his buddy with him, or all of his friends.

I just wanted to sleep.

I want to sleep. It doesn’t matter if I wake up.

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